A Birthday Reflection: 5 Things I Wish I Knew Sooner

written by Tiana Kai
Tiana Kai Maui

Wait, I’m how old? 34? Ok, that’s not that bad, but that means I’m almost 35 and then soon I’ll be 40. Hm. Time to reflect.

5 Things I Wish I Knew (Or Paid Attention To) Sooner

1. Listening Is As Important As Talking

I talk a lot. Listening more would get me out of trouble and I may just learn something from the most surprising characters I meet. I’m sure it would also have a positive affect on my marriage and close relationships.

2. Focus On Female Relationships

Tiana as a kid

Please excuse the salmon-colored formica countertop

I was a tomboy. I grew up with two older brothers and loved rough-housing, wearing hats ‘n boots and getting dirty. I had a core group of girlfriends, but would ditch them while they watched MTV so I could play soccer with the boys. It felt like the best of both worlds.

Now that I’m older, I see how the male relationships that I’ve cultivated are not as close as some relationships I have with my girlfriends. When in crisis you need a girl to listen to you yap yap yap for hours.

3. Work Out!

I’m still upset that I haven’t kicked my butt into getting into a workout regimen. I always come up with excuses or make the poor choice of opening my laptop first thing in the morning. If I postponed my laptop ritual by an hour I could burn at least 400 calories doing something, anything.

This morning I did Pilates and already feel like a million bucks! I hope I keep it up, so I’m giving you the right to harass me on Twitter and ask me if I did any morning activity, please, it might keep me in check.

4. Say No

Saying yes to everything is just ridiculous. I say no to a lot of things now, but in the past I thought I had to be everywhere all the time. In the end, everyone takes a piece of you and you’re left exhausted. Now I say no to things that won’t be very fulfilling and especially if I have other priorities.

‘No’ means more time for yourself, your partner, less stress, less bullshit and you get to focus on more meaningful things.

5. Sunday Is A Day Of Rest

Tiana Kai things i wish i knew

Relaxing with the locals in Maui

I’m not saying to stay in bed all day, but hey, if that’s your jam then go for it. I grew up in a never-stop kinda house, so when Sundays come around I feel like it’s Monday and I have to conquer the world.

I have to constantly tell myself not to feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing. Slow Sundays don’t come around that often due to travel, but when they do I need to embrace a slower pace.

6. What about you?

So, those are some things I wish I knew. What habits or characteristics did you wish you adjusted to sooner? Wearing sunscreen and drinking water also hit the list.

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Paige Miller November 16, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Happy birthday and love that picture at the top with the hat! I couldn’t agree more with saying no from time to time. I’m the world’s worst about overcommitting myself, and that’s just not fun for anyone involved.

Tiana Kai November 17, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Thank you Paige!

I think saying yes is just as important as saying no, but it’s crucial to draw a line at some point and stop and remind yourself what’s really important and know the benefit of what you’re saying yes to. 🙂 “Yes” is more fun though.

Becky Padmore December 1, 2014 at 11:57 am

Great advice, learning to say no is very important! I’ve had to really practice this one over the years!

Tiana Kai December 1, 2014 at 4:09 pm

Ya it is not easy, and it is fun to say YES but not when you are run to the ground. It’s best to choose the most important things first and realize it’s OK to miss some things.

Frany December 16, 2014 at 11:21 pm

I’m here for you silly! 😉 call me anytime

Tiana Kai December 17, 2014 at 1:12 am

Guuuurl, I know it! 🙂


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